A Birthday to Remember

First up, those of you who did not wish me on purpose or owing to your brain with a 3 second memory span shalt hereby be bombarded with the worst kind of spam until further notice is issued.

Terms and conditions of Zhe Spam Attack

1) You shalt receive 'at least' ten mails each a day.

2) The size of each mail will be inversely proportional to the remaining capacity of your inbox.

3) No one other than the parent spammer will have the authority to "junk them".

4) You shalt not be allowed to forward them to anyone other than the list that shalt be provided to you, and this list would most definitely include the indifferent and forgetful ones!

5) The above mentioned souls shalt address me as Zhe Master until further notice.

6) You shalt not whine or complain.

Conditions for Pardon

1) You shalt send wonderful belated b'day wishes to me, still addressing me as Zhe Master.

2) You shalt be generous and send me at least 3 of the below:

i) CDs
ii) Shoes
iii) Chocolates
iv) Watches-And not the ones with the teeny dials.
v) Fuel my mobile, I use Airtel!
vi) Gift certificates, and no, I don't need free hair transplant from the nearby salon.
vii) Clothes (not high on the list though)
viii) Cash. Money. $$$$. Ka-ching!!!
ix) A laptop.
x) If you're good at taking tests, impersonate Zhe Master for her next test.

3) A signed undertaking stating that you shalt never forget Zhe Master's b'day and will seek her forgiveness for this year's omission for the rest of your life by being
a ) Generous.
b ) Apologetic.
c ) More generous.
d ) All of the above.

4) Zhe Master makes it clear that poetic, artistic or literary and artsy things are not loopholes to reprieve. As sweet as they are, they shalt not be taken into consideration when Zhe Master goes through the Pardon petitions.

5) Anyone spamming Zhe Master shalt be permanently deleted from Zhe Master's circle and shalt live the rest of his/her/its life as an outcast.

Zhe Master shalt wait for two days.

At 0000 hrs on 06-12-2007, Zhe Spam Attack Begins!



pooF.
(I will zhe back!)

Put climate change 'behind' us?!?

As a Math student, I am prone to equating things. They tend to give a sense of symmetry that every Mathematically inclined person yearns for, and apparently symmetry is something almost everyone looks for in the myriad of images the nature presents us. So here I was with the Sunday Express. Yes, I do read the newspaper. *confetti shower* My qualities apart, I reach the "World" section and what do I see? Butt cheeks staring at me. Apparently they are all protesting against climate change. A Greenpeace sponsored initiative which is to tell us that glaciers are melting so we need to start using CFLs instead of bulbs and all that jazz.

Click here to check out the story and the butts.

If this is the a rip-off of the "sex sells" mantra that is ruling the ad-world of today, God save us. And my equality sign passed through the crowd of butt cheeks and into oblivion with the hope that there prevails some better sense beyond that glacier.

pooF.

(Miss)fortune?

My Orkut fortune cookie says

"Today's fortune:
You and your wife will be happy in your life together".

Oh well, I don't swing that way.

pooF.

Thank you Rashmi.

I spoke too soon. Right when I was so happy for one person having moved on after the death of her husband of less than a year, I hear the news of the passing away of one of my hostel mates. She suffered from liver cancer. An only daughter to her parents. I will be lying if I said that I knew her very well and I do not deserve to eulogize her. But it did make me recall a poem by John Donne.

"Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee."

I do not claim to suffer from depression each time a soul finds its way out of the madness that is earth. I am not being cynical for I use madness in the best possible way. This madness has a sense of beautiful chaos. Intertwined with its most apparent secrets you've pieces of the most inexplicable of truths. It overwhelms you and alongside fills you with a sense of belonging like nothing else can. When you look at the bigger picture and know that you're part of a much bigger family, the collective sense of achievement and joy outweighs the losses. But looking at the bigger picture is a tough job, especially when each one of us is programmed to look at self first and foremost. It is next to impossible, if not impossible, for most of us to think beyond a few set boundaries and goals.

Ah! I digress. Recalling the poem made sense for the instant I heard the news, the first thought, after feeling for the loss of her family, was the instances I had spoken to her. She was always very cheerful. It is almost an uncanny coincidence that each person who dies young somehow has the power to grip you with their cheery self and nonchalance.

Maybe her body knew that it'd give up on her soon and somehow shielded her from the chemistry of depressing and worrisome hormones doing the things they do on lesser mortals who have the luxury to whine and cry at the most frivolous of things for a long time to come. Whatever it was, she was very calm and cool about most of the things we students loved to fret about, for instance, the universally dreaded phenomena of exams. Every exam was easy for her. And mind you, she scored well.

These and many more instances flooded my memory. And I wondered whether those few moments with me made any difference to her life, cruelly short though it was. Did it make a difference in my life? I think it did. If I hadn't known her, maybe the sense of loss wouldn't have been so much. And the fact that we exchanged mostly just pleasantries wouldn't diminish it. The length of someone's life maybe predetermined. But one thing that I suppose we all do is take too many things for granted. The few smiles we exchanged taught me the difference each one of those smiles made, for I know that each smile and every word I've seen and heard has made my life better. They have shown me that I am a part of this big family. That I've been accepted. Thank you Rashmi and may your soul rest in peace.

pooF.

Her crisis and my frivolous twists and turns.

I suppose I'm making a habit of starting every post on either an apologetic note or just bringing to whomever's notice that I've been missing for sometime now. As I always say, for the sake of my ego, I truly do believe that there are scores of people who come back and check for my blog updates. And I can explain the lack of comments as well, they're just comment-shy. Now that my ego is in place, let's move on.

I have a blog on netlog as well. Just that I do not update it anymore than I update this one. I cntrl+c, cntrl+v a post from the other blog.

Death Should Be Fair

I get back to Uni on Monday and I come to know that my classmate's husband met with an accident and is no more. May his soul rest in peace.

They wed on the 24th of May last year. It hasn't even been a year and she is now a widow. Such an awful word. More so because the reality of it, esp in our society, will just start unfolding for her.

But I found her to be strong. Maybe she is in shock and it has to sink in. I sincerely hope she gets through it.

It is true that when death pays you a visit, his utter indifference towards life just blows you away. There are questions to which no mortal can provide a decent answer. Questions like,"why just a year with him? What am I supposed to do with all of 'our' dreams? Why should I pray? Why him?"...

Silence somehow manages to answer it all. Time and space will heal it, one might say. But wasn't it the same time and space that led me to this, she could ask.

People would come up to her, say they're sorry..that they wished her story had a happy ending..Maybe that would keep her going for some time..But the sheer magnitude of it all would start showing itself when everyone is gone. When she will be alone in that room and these questions start pouring in again and there are no people to fill the vacuum with their profound silence. That's when she will realise what has really happened. That's when she will know that now her existence is marred by that single word "widow". That anywhere she goes people would hesitate to call her for their baby showers and house warming ceremonies or at least be in the forefront of one. And that is when her confidence fails her and she then 'chooses' to be behind the curtains.

I hope she does not choose to stay behind the curtains. I hope my classmates and I have been able to convince her to come back to Uni and finish her degree. I hope that she will find someone else who would be genuinely happy to have her as his partner. And I wish for her a life with no curtains, a life where there are no adjectives from the past to haunt her.

Good luck my friend.

PS: The title has been stuck in my head for two days now. It popped up when I was going to meet her. But then again, fairness is just a vague term. Who decides what is fair and for whom. Relativity-I hate!

This was on the fifth of April, 2007. I am very happy to say that she has since at least tried to move on. She has now earned herself a Masters Degree in Math, around 2-3 percentage points shy of a distinction. She has got herself a teaching assignment at an Engineering College and more importantly, she has regained her smile.

Talking to her the other day, I realised how there are things that shake the very core of your existence and I haven't gone through one yet. Am I thankful for that? Well, I couldn't say. I know about how these make you strong and such, but right now, I will save my thanks for a later time. For, from what I've heard everyone goes through that at least once and I hope that when that day passes I'll have enough strength left to thank God for getting me through it and showering me with hope for the days to come.

..V :)

pooF.

Reels.

Hola!

I just got my pictures back. Yup. The scenes of my Uni days captured for posterity. I got it developed. Came out pretty alright. I would call myself an amateur still though. I know what you all must be thinking..eww those outdated cameras?? Well I did visit the Heaven of Digital clicks with its magic of deletion and zooming and the tweaking service it provides afterwards. But the visit was a very short one. My brother flew away with it and well, I had to take the elevator down. Anyhow, no regrets though. For I firmly believe that ultimately the poses and the lighting does not really matter; unless, of course, you are trying out for a contract with Sports Illustrated. I've heard people say that they've the reel of memory going for them and they really do not need to keep photographs framed and decorated to remind them of their past. In a way it is true, but then photographs refresh your memory faster than otherwise for as years progress there are loads of things that come your way that finds a place in that teeny weeny head of yours. A gazillion more faces, landscapes, numbers, colours and their shades, sounds, smells, tastes, a variety of emotions that you thought never existed would've been triggered by one event or another. In this mess, pinpointing towards one moment would be hard. Maybe it was insignificant then. But the silliest moments can trace a smile on your face when you're down eons later. For me, those photographs were of friendship and a sense of belonging for I was living my life alone at the Uni for two years. We had developed a bond, one of having shared the same time and space. Having being part of that unique confluence, no one else was there. And the lighting doesn't matter 'cause even the fuzziest of the images are enough to light up my memory. It serves as a gateway to old times, a quick shortcut. And when my memory tries to pull me away from the past in pursuit of a better future, I can definitely turn on to these to refresh it. To remind me of the special people I've met and the good times we shared.

Plus, with this line of argument I am hoping that everyone would fail to notice that I am terribly camera shy and hopelessly un-photogenic.

pooF.

Quote-Unquote.

Eekz. It has been a while aye. All my coal's been getting dumped into another engine, viz, studying. At least I am trying. Hence blogging has been losing steam. Now that I am done with analogies, let's get down to business. ;)

I love the movie "Independence Day". The last part where Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum escape from the mother ship and crash land is a bit exaggerated. But then I am not complaining about those 5 minutes 'cause the rest of the movie was really good! :)

My favourite scene would definitely be the one in which Bill Pullman, as the President of the United States of America, delivers a speech to motivate his people. And heck, he does it well! Makes you wonder when you'd ever come across one like that in real life.

So this time I'm taking an easy way out and just quote it. Hope you enjoy it as much as I've everytime I've heard it.

"Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!" We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"---courtesy imdb.com

pooF.

CSI and my fall.

And the earth shook. Nature wept. What for thou asketh? Well, thee slipped and tripped and ended up with thee foot underneath the refrigerator. The skin on my instep very decently gave way and showed me that I did have bones. And the first thing that comes to mind? Well, the second thing. The first was laughter and well, of course, wondering if that fall actually managed to make some cracks in my neighbour’s china. The second was my house being stormed by the CSI unit. I am a sucker for CSI, especially, CSI:NY.

Horatio and Grissom kind of make themselves seem very arrogant. I mean, they go a little overboard with their confidence, especially Horatio who sort of makes himself come off as know-all, which annoys me a tad bit. I'd probably rate CSI in the order of NY followed by Miami and then the plain CSI. The plain one is sometimes just that. It tends to get too dark, literally and quite "shady". Not in the creepy sense of the term, but somehow the lighting in it doesn't work for me. And as for Miami, that's quite happening in a way. Miami it is. But somehow it seems to be a little above the common-ness or erm, how about people-friendly..That's a better word. Where was I? Oh yeah, they aren't all that people-friendly. And way too many personal conflicts there. I suppose I'd like the detectives to be more professional and the people to be 'normal'. As for CSI:NY. Moi wubs it! :D. People seem real, the detectives are very professional and there are more funny dialogues in it than the others. Plus, they sort of seem to enjoy it more than the other two editions of the CSI.

God! It would've been a dream come true if a CSI:NY team did barge in and scrape my fridge stand for my DNA and re-construct my fall so to speak. That would've been awesome. Actually I did see it then and there how they'd actually go about doing that. The gloves ready and they'd swab the stand diligently while they put forth theories of what happened. And while they're discussing, each of their theories would actually be re-enacted with the help of technology. I am a FANatic! :D Have to hand it to them for bringing such a well thought out and fabulously executed series! Go CSI! (Esp NY!). I can be biased. :)

pooF.

PS: Thou shalt let me knoweth if thee has screwed up her thous and thees! :\

Intelligent Conversations and A Disputed Dream

I was having a conversation with my amigo about ‘intelligent conversation’. I firmly believe that every quality is relative and well, the supposedly ‘good’ ones can be as ruinous as the apparently ‘bad’ ones. For instance, optimism is good in a sense. You could keep seeing the glass as half full. But being overly optimistic has its pitfalls. You could so much believe in the half-full theory that somewhere down the line you overlook the reality of the other half of emptiness. There are instances when being practical is important. So that said, ‘intelligence’ again is Relative. Jessica Simpson and Paris Hilton are prime examples of how one can cash in on the ‘dumb’ quotient. But then, they don’t really deserve being mentioned more than once.

The crux of the matter is how is it that you can manage to have an ‘intelligent conversation’? I believe that most people do gauge intelligence in terms of how aware you are of those ‘important issues’. Maybe if you knew Watergate and Perestroika you could be termed so. Or maybe how the FIIs are determining the course of Indian economy. And well, you’re definitely high up on the list if you can throw in a few quotes by Shakespeare or start a discourse on what John Donne meant when he claimed that “no man is an island”. All of that is very impressive. But I believe that unless you’ve something of your own to contribute to all those arguments, views and counterviews about the aforementioned topic it is quite, well, unoriginal. At least that is how I would like to measure intelligence. Maybe it is creativity. But ultimately, I suppose intelligence and creativity do stem from the same source. If Einstein wasn’t creative enough, I don’t think relativity would have been born. In a sense I suppose it is the ‘imagination’ at work here. Intelligence should be measured in terms of how you can come up with plausible theories about how things work. How you can imagine something to be, how you can assimilate arguments and derive your own.

In that sense, an intelligent conversation would be one in which you can fuel each others’ imagination. It is very easy to mug up a lot of facts and have a conversation centered around them. But when it comes to actually kick starting your brain, it requires conversations that make you think, that lets you see different perspectives and somehow manages to take you to a whole different level. For me intelligence would be defined in how one can actually sit back, look at things differently. A way we can stretch ourselves beyond the accepted limits of human imagination. And also, to have an ‘intelligent conversation’ you need someone who can compliment you on the other side. And from such a conversation arose this:

A disputed dream

Serenity blankets me today
in a world disillusioned
i have found my caffeine
reality is the drug that keeps me alive

in the never ending tussle
between yesterday and tomorrow
maybe expectations are to be referees
biased and prejudiced towards the latter

the next dawn teaches me about hope
peace could indeed be contiguous
And yesterday taught me about my disputed dream.

The credit has to go to Mr.C for putting the words “disputed dreams” in my head, so much so that I had to write this. Tanka!

pooF.

My controversial moment!

Over the past few months a lot of important events have taken place. Nah! I am not talking about me finishing up with my Masters, which in itself is an achievement, believe me! And neither am I talking about the other numerous tests that I’ve been breaking my head over with. They are all red letter days, but then only in my diary. And let us just say that I am not that vain (yet!) to impose those on others’ calendars.

What I am talking about are the following:

The Presidential Elections:

Not the Prez polls of the US of A, dummy! We have one at home. And well, we have decided to overtake the Americans in this regard. In all probability we are going to end up with a Madam President. We are definitely not going to miss the chance of rubbing it in. The largest democracy is going to have the first woman president and well, that’s one thing where the newest democracy will have to find solace in a mere second. And this of course, in a race run by just these two countries. And if one thought that the US presidential polls were glitzy and glamorous with their neat ribbons and confetti showers, well, ours is more exciting. We have been fortunate enough to have a wonderful President for the past five years. “A person who has filled us with a rare commodity-hope”, as a tv commentator rightly summarized his five-year term. But now, it is time for a change and well, a lot of names were fielded. And that’s when UPA decides to field a woman as a candidate. No one questions the right of a woman to don the role and neither her capabilities; for, if elected, they are yet to be tested. The whole controversy has taken epic proportions with every news channel having a debate with a panel of “experts” on a dais every half hour. News flashes and breaking news almost always deal with the Presidential polls. My vote would always go for someone who can do the job, irrespective of their caste, sex or creed. And that’s something everybody on television agrees. And that’s exactly why these recent ‘debates’ are a mockery of the whole process of the election of the President.

“The Americans, the so-called Big Brother, are fielding a woman candidate for the first time and we are here to make one before that.”

May I ask the above ‘expert’ as to what is the ratio of literate and empowered women in the US and India? How many Indian women can walk out on the streets at night without having the fear of being violated? And more so, the Presidential elections in the US is public voting and not so in India. Well, one can argue it is an indirect election done by the representatives of the public. But what about the above mentioned ratio??

“There is a need for someone with a political background to be a successful President.”

One name for you. Dr.A P J Abdul Kalam

Of course, everything comes down to politics. But there’s just one thing. Do not try to fuel feminist passions and sweep the other issues under the rug. Do not claim that we women are being ‘empowered’ by having a woman president. There are still a large number among us who still cannot spell ‘President’. There is still a larger number of us who do not have the freedom to voice their opinion in their own household without being battered, let alone spend time thinking as to who should be the president.

Mission Munnar:

Well that’s the name given, by the media, to the demolition drive happening in the resort town of Munnar in Kerala. Posh hotels and buildings have been brought down as though they were Lego blocks by mighty JCBs. There wouldn’t be a single Keralite who does not know the entire history of JCBs right now, who invented them, what it stands for, etc. The government drew a lot of appreciation for its ‘mission’ to drive out people who illegally took over the land and built profitable tourist resorts. But it equally drew flak when the CPI building was about to be brought down by the government aka CPI(M). Now that’s a comrade betraying a comrade. And what does the government who took credit for all the good work do? Pass the entire ‘flak’ on to the IAS officer in-charge of the whole operation. What does the officer do? He scoots off to Delhi and from there he will be visiting Kulu Manali for a nice family vacation.

Sunita Williams:

I admire the woman for the fact that she dared to be there for six months. I love the idea of being able to see the world and the stars from up there, but staying there for six months, alone? Erm. Let’s just say that I like my feet firmly rooted in the ground! But the entire hype about her in India just because she is of Indian-origin is annoying. Agreed, we need to take pride in what an NRI is doing. But dude! She is a NRNI at the moment. Non Resident Non Indian. The thing that is annoying is the fact that we tend to make her achievements our own. Just because her father is from India apparently gives us the right to a share in her success. These successes do not mirror ours. If nothing else, they mirror our failure to set our priorities right.

I did have a few other issues at hand. But, maybe some other time. I do not wish to be too controversial. Somehow, my hunger for 15 seconds of fame is quite non-existent, at least along these lines.

New Counter and Strangers!

First up, in case you haven't noticed yet, I got a new website hit-counter! Woohoo! So keep comin' back to get the face to smile at ya! Lol. I should try marketing as a career. hmm...

I've a new sense of direction too. But that is for another post.

I have never been a huge fan of Orkut. I was in it long time ago. Now I've joined again. A few folks in and I am not adding anymore. Don't get me wrong. It is just that for one I'd like someone send me a personalized email once in a blue moon than actually 'scrap' me an open 'hello'. The problems with that are aplenty. For one, you have to spend way too much time thinking of an appropriate reply. Of course, one cannot just go on exchanging hellos. So you come up with, "Hai, What's up?" or a "Hai, how are ya?" blah blah blah. Then it snowballs into this pseudo-conversation where neither of us wants to be impolite and not reply. So basically you're spending time on non-sensical data sharing and you ultimately put up too much of your self online. Now, I am not paranoid. But one thing that annoys me the most is the fact that certain people do not understand simple sentences like the one given below which makes its debut in my Orkut profile:

"Unless you're someone I've known in some part of my life or a friend of the former, please do not bother sending me friend requests or scraps..It saves you the time of clickin' on 'add as friend' and me the trouble of rejecting and deleting. You should notice that I cleverly dodged the Orkut question on what I'm here for. Now you know."

I am definitely not trying to be rude. But my parents told me not to talk to strangers! Lol. And the funny thing in all this is the fact that people do not understand the simple fact that you cannot make a conversation with someone who is not interested in having one in the first place. I have no qualms about making friends online. I suppose I have, with my blogs and such. But that's a connection that's borne out of exchanging writings rather than pleasantaries. So basically when you come in contact with someone through their writings you have already appreciated the persons thoughts and ideas; you have actually found some common ground or are at least impressed with the other.

But then, common sense is not common after all. ;)

PS: Hey Arun, thanks for the comment and make your blog available to the aam admi(read ME!). :) And hey, about the debate, throw topics at me! We'll indulge in that over here some time for sure! :)

pooF.

Isn't it Ironic, Don't you think?

I love that song by Alanis Morissette. It is funny that when you hear it, you go "It's SO true!!!". But you never thought of putting that into words now, did ya?

But today's irony for me is something from my own life. It is ironic that someone who had hurt me, never missed an opportunity to backstab me, was incessantly obssessed with stealing credit for what I did and all that jazz did something for me that was least expected. Maybe I am being a bit too harsh, or maybe it is 'cause I was really hurt. But, nonetheless, the irony that cropped up a couple of days ago is that the very same person inspired me. Haven't spoken to the person for ages. How did XYZ manage to inspire me? Well, with what XYZ has achieved. Somehow I missed the whole point somewhere along the way. In the equations of today's world, ends justify means. So at the end of the day, fairness is measured in terms of where you are at and what you have become. Everything else is erased automatically.

I am sure XYZ will not be reading this blog, but what the heck, Thank you!

pooF.

It's been a while.

Somehow for the past few posts, as in ones on Netlog counted, I've had sentences remind me of songs. "It's been a while" is a very good song by Staind. Pretty good!

But then, that's sort of trying to find a way away from the fact that I haven't 'blogged' for a while over here. For starters, it's very hard to manage two blogs. It would have been a different case altogether if I had

a) Two jobs and I blogged about one in each.

The problem here is that I don't even have one to start with.

b) At least two different aspects of my own life to blog about.

That ended when I finished my masters and ended up sitting at home, writing different sets of exams. What a way to suck all the fun out of ones life.

c) Split personality.

I admit that I am a nut, a crack, a superfabulously crazy person, but split personality..nah!

d) Multiple personality.

Yeah! I like getting too specific. Here, I'd have more trouble actually. Imagine remembering the login ids and passwords of all those blogs. Sheesh. But then, as far as my knowledge of these go (thanks to Hollywood!), I suppose each person would remember his id and password. I believe they don't form a trade union kinda thing. (I suppose I've validated my comments in (c)).

Sidenote: Why just Hollywood? Well, Bollywood hasn't, to borrow a popular term these days, matured enough to 'handle'(read copy) multiple personality yet. Tamil-dom(it's called Kollywood is it??) has. But bollywood. Nope. They are still experts in different causes and cures of amnesia, the most famous being: if you hit by a log and forget everything about self, get hit by the same log again. Well, on second thoughts, that's if you remember that you were hit by a log in the first place.

So after that long winded excuse about not being able to write a blog, I realise that this is good enough for a post. Heh Heh. Clever little monkey, aint I?

So till I come back with an even disjoint, un-edited and non-sensical blabber, so long mates!

pooF.

Whee!! How was the ride down?

Hola!

I've actually blog hopped a gazillion times already now. But then lost the enthusiasm for it some time back. Have to say that Netlog has put the colour back in it. And hopefully this will last for some time. One thing for sure is that it will not be updated as frequently as I'd like it to be. I was a very avid blogger, sometimes even 2-3 posts in a day. But now, there are other things that consume my time. And boy, they take up almost all of my time. Anyway, this is just a welcome post and more will follow.

pooF.