First up, those of you who did not wish me on purpose or owing to your brain with a 3 second memory span shalt hereby be bombarded with the worst kind of spam until further notice is issued.
Terms and conditions of Zhe Spam Attack
1) You shalt receive 'at least' ten mails each a day.
2) The size of each mail will be inversely proportional to the remaining capacity of your inbox.
3) No one other than the parent spammer will have the authority to "junk them".
4) You shalt not be allowed to forward them to anyone other than the list that shalt be provided to you, and this list would most definitely include the indifferent and forgetful ones!
5) The above mentioned souls shalt address me as Zhe Master until further notice.
6) You shalt not whine or complain.
Conditions for Pardon
1) You shalt send wonderful belated b'day wishes to me, still addressing me as Zhe Master.
2) You shalt be generous and send me at least 3 of the below:
i) CDs
ii) Shoes
iii) Chocolates
iv) Watches-And not the ones with the teeny dials.
v) Fuel my mobile, I use Airtel!
vi) Gift certificates, and no, I don't need free hair transplant from the nearby salon.
vii) Clothes (not high on the list though)
viii) Cash. Money. $$$$. Ka-ching!!!
ix) A laptop.
x) If you're good at taking tests, impersonate Zhe Master for her next test.
3) A signed undertaking stating that you shalt never forget Zhe Master's b'day and will seek her forgiveness for this year's omission for the rest of your life by being
a ) Generous.
b ) Apologetic.
c ) More generous.
d ) All of the above.
4) Zhe Master makes it clear that poetic, artistic or literary and artsy things are not loopholes to reprieve. As sweet as they are, they shalt not be taken into consideration when Zhe Master goes through the Pardon petitions.
5) Anyone spamming Zhe Master shalt be permanently deleted from Zhe Master's circle and shalt live the rest of his/her/its life as an outcast.
Zhe Master shalt wait for two days.
At 0000 hrs on 06-12-2007, Zhe Spam Attack Begins!
pooF.
(I will zhe back!)
Terms and conditions of Zhe Spam Attack
1) You shalt receive 'at least' ten mails each a day.
2) The size of each mail will be inversely proportional to the remaining capacity of your inbox.
3) No one other than the parent spammer will have the authority to "junk them".
4) You shalt not be allowed to forward them to anyone other than the list that shalt be provided to you, and this list would most definitely include the indifferent and forgetful ones!
5) The above mentioned souls shalt address me as Zhe Master until further notice.
6) You shalt not whine or complain.
Conditions for Pardon
1) You shalt send wonderful belated b'day wishes to me, still addressing me as Zhe Master.
2) You shalt be generous and send me at least 3 of the below:
i) CDs
ii) Shoes
iii) Chocolates
iv) Watches-And not the ones with the teeny dials.
v) Fuel my mobile, I use Airtel!
vi) Gift certificates, and no, I don't need free hair transplant from the nearby salon.
vii) Clothes (not high on the list though)
viii) Cash. Money. $$$$. Ka-ching!!!
ix) A laptop.
x) If you're good at taking tests, impersonate Zhe Master for her next test.
3) A signed undertaking stating that you shalt never forget Zhe Master's b'day and will seek her forgiveness for this year's omission for the rest of your life by being
a ) Generous.
b ) Apologetic.
c ) More generous.
d ) All of the above.
4) Zhe Master makes it clear that poetic, artistic or literary and artsy things are not loopholes to reprieve. As sweet as they are, they shalt not be taken into consideration when Zhe Master goes through the Pardon petitions.
5) Anyone spamming Zhe Master shalt be permanently deleted from Zhe Master's circle and shalt live the rest of his/her/its life as an outcast.
Zhe Master shalt wait for two days.
At 0000 hrs on 06-12-2007, Zhe Spam Attack Begins!
pooF.
(I will zhe back!)
2 comments:
But Zhe Master, what about zhe innocent souls who did wish zhe on thy birthday? Will the deed go unrewarded?
By the way, I liked you use of "his/her/its". That way, no one has any complains.
no german here... because its all greek to me.
do i apply the same conditions on you since u did not wish me on my b'day?
Post a Comment