I suppose I'm making a habit of starting every post on either an apologetic note or just bringing to whomever's notice that I've been missing for sometime now. As I always say, for the sake of my ego, I truly do believe that there are scores of people who come back and check for my blog updates. And I can explain the lack of comments as well, they're just comment-shy. Now that my ego is in place, let's move on.
I have a blog on netlog as well. Just that I do not update it anymore than I update this one. I cntrl+c, cntrl+v a post from the other blog.
Death Should Be Fair
I get back to Uni on Monday and I come to know that my classmate's husband met with an accident and is no more. May his soul rest in peace.
They wed on the 24th of May last year. It hasn't even been a year and she is now a widow. Such an awful word. More so because the reality of it, esp in our society, will just start unfolding for her.
But I found her to be strong. Maybe she is in shock and it has to sink in. I sincerely hope she gets through it.
It is true that when death pays you a visit, his utter indifference towards life just blows you away. There are questions to which no mortal can provide a decent answer. Questions like,"why just a year with him? What am I supposed to do with all of 'our' dreams? Why should I pray? Why him?"...
Silence somehow manages to answer it all. Time and space will heal it, one might say. But wasn't it the same time and space that led me to this, she could ask.
People would come up to her, say they're sorry..that they wished her story had a happy ending..Maybe that would keep her going for some time..But the sheer magnitude of it all would start showing itself when everyone is gone. When she will be alone in that room and these questions start pouring in again and there are no people to fill the vacuum with their profound silence. That's when she will realise what has really happened. That's when she will know that now her existence is marred by that single word "widow". That anywhere she goes people would hesitate to call her for their baby showers and house warming ceremonies or at least be in the forefront of one. And that is when her confidence fails her and she then 'chooses' to be behind the curtains.
I hope she does not choose to stay behind the curtains. I hope my classmates and I have been able to convince her to come back to Uni and finish her degree. I hope that she will find someone else who would be genuinely happy to have her as his partner. And I wish for her a life with no curtains, a life where there are no adjectives from the past to haunt her.
Good luck my friend.
PS: The title has been stuck in my head for two days now. It popped up when I was going to meet her. But then again, fairness is just a vague term. Who decides what is fair and for whom. Relativity-I hate!
This was on the fifth of April, 2007. I am very happy to say that she has since at least tried to move on. She has now earned herself a Masters Degree in Math, around 2-3 percentage points shy of a distinction. She has got herself a teaching assignment at an Engineering College and more importantly, she has regained her smile.
Talking to her the other day, I realised how there are things that shake the very core of your existence and I haven't gone through one yet. Am I thankful for that? Well, I couldn't say. I know about how these make you strong and such, but right now, I will save my thanks for a later time. For, from what I've heard everyone goes through that at least once and I hope that when that day passes I'll have enough strength left to thank God for getting me through it and showering me with hope for the days to come.
..V :)
pooF.
I have a blog on netlog as well. Just that I do not update it anymore than I update this one. I cntrl+c, cntrl+v a post from the other blog.
Death Should Be Fair
I get back to Uni on Monday and I come to know that my classmate's husband met with an accident and is no more. May his soul rest in peace.
They wed on the 24th of May last year. It hasn't even been a year and she is now a widow. Such an awful word. More so because the reality of it, esp in our society, will just start unfolding for her.
But I found her to be strong. Maybe she is in shock and it has to sink in. I sincerely hope she gets through it.
It is true that when death pays you a visit, his utter indifference towards life just blows you away. There are questions to which no mortal can provide a decent answer. Questions like,"why just a year with him? What am I supposed to do with all of 'our' dreams? Why should I pray? Why him?"...
Silence somehow manages to answer it all. Time and space will heal it, one might say. But wasn't it the same time and space that led me to this, she could ask.
People would come up to her, say they're sorry..that they wished her story had a happy ending..Maybe that would keep her going for some time..But the sheer magnitude of it all would start showing itself when everyone is gone. When she will be alone in that room and these questions start pouring in again and there are no people to fill the vacuum with their profound silence. That's when she will realise what has really happened. That's when she will know that now her existence is marred by that single word "widow". That anywhere she goes people would hesitate to call her for their baby showers and house warming ceremonies or at least be in the forefront of one. And that is when her confidence fails her and she then 'chooses' to be behind the curtains.
I hope she does not choose to stay behind the curtains. I hope my classmates and I have been able to convince her to come back to Uni and finish her degree. I hope that she will find someone else who would be genuinely happy to have her as his partner. And I wish for her a life with no curtains, a life where there are no adjectives from the past to haunt her.
Good luck my friend.
PS: The title has been stuck in my head for two days now. It popped up when I was going to meet her. But then again, fairness is just a vague term. Who decides what is fair and for whom. Relativity-I hate!
This was on the fifth of April, 2007. I am very happy to say that she has since at least tried to move on. She has now earned herself a Masters Degree in Math, around 2-3 percentage points shy of a distinction. She has got herself a teaching assignment at an Engineering College and more importantly, she has regained her smile.
Talking to her the other day, I realised how there are things that shake the very core of your existence and I haven't gone through one yet. Am I thankful for that? Well, I couldn't say. I know about how these make you strong and such, but right now, I will save my thanks for a later time. For, from what I've heard everyone goes through that at least once and I hope that when that day passes I'll have enough strength left to thank God for getting me through it and showering me with hope for the days to come.
..V :)
pooF.
No comments:
Post a Comment